This month marked Baby Bear's 3rd birthday and so my 3rd year of being a mom. Looking back over the last three years there are many moments that still bring a smile to my face, some that bring tears to my eyes, and a few that send chills down my back, most through just make be burt out laughing. I have loved the last three years and could not imagine what else in the world Id be doing If Baby Bear wasn't around.
Kate Winslet said “Having children just puts the whole world into perspective. Everything else just disappears.” And so it does, for all the right reasons. But what I didn't know would disappear was my name and my identity.
|My first Birthday as a Mom! (still in hospital!)|
It's a common cliche that becoming a mom is a life changing event. However its also a complete change of identity that I wasn't prepared for. New friends I've made, new places I've been, new classes I've joined, new shops, restaurant's, cafe's etc that we been to as a family in the last few years, I've been 'the Mom', the mother. As my birthday falls 2 days after baby Bear's it wasn't a long wait for my first 'mother' card. That first time is was a great novelty, however by my first 'Mother's Day' in March that year, it had hit me that I am now another person, 'the mother'. And one day may even be 'the Mother -In- Law!!!!
I did struggle with the double identity. I was unsure who I was, or who i was supposed to be, how I should act or what was ok to say or do. Should I now stay in more, or be seen in different places. It was all a worry to me. In all honestly it wasn't until Baby bear reached the 2 1/2 yr stage that it all finally clicked with me. I don't need to me mom one hour and me the next. I don't always need to introduce myself saying who's mom I am first, I certainly don't need to be wearing more 'mom appropriate' clothes, and I definitely don't need to be a different person. I have stopped segmenting my life and now I am comfortable with me as me. Just the one package that fits all occasions, and its lots more fun. I get my personality show, and take it or leave it but thats me. I think it's much more fun and less stress.
Gilda Radne described Motherhood as: "the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary–it’s an act of infinite optimism.” But it's also great fun, adventurous, loving and gives meaning to life......and I love it.
I've absolutely no idea if Im doing it right or wrong, but Daddy Bear and I have thus far managed to keep ourselves and Baby Bear alive! That's got to be a good thing! At the end of the day, us Mom's don't need to be comparing ourselves to others, as long as we are each enjoying family life to the full, try to keep healthy and active, love unconditionally, learn to laugh at ourselves, give big squeezy hugs and very now and then reward ourselves, then in my opinion were all doing great.
Proudly signing off as,
Mommy Bear x